The
Birth Of My Second Child.
The Birth Of My Second Child.
My youngest daughter was born with a
cognitive disability that makes life sometimes a struggle for her. I choose to write about my pregnancy with her
and the day she was born because this was the most significant experience in my
life. I can remember the moment that I
conceived her I actually felt it (believe me this can happen it is a feeling
like no other), I told my husband “I’m pregnant" and I was. This pregnancy and birth experience was
remarkably different compared to my first pregnancy. For the entire second pregnancy, I was
physically and emotionally drained. I
had a lot of emotional baggage; I think I cried and fought with my husband the
entire pregnancy. I was about two weeks
overdue with my first child, A great-aunt called me and said “girl get up and
move some furniture around I bet your labor starts then" so I did and I
had my first child that night without complications. Because I did not want to go past my due date
with my second child, I started moving furniture on her due date. This did put me into labor, but she was not
in the right position and had to be turned manually (with help from doctors and
my husband) in order for her to move down the birth canal. This took awhile and was very painful I think
that I should have been given a C-section.
She was born very angry and fearful as well as cognitively impaired. I believe if I had been emotionally and
physically fit with my second pregnancy her birth would have went differently. In addition, had I waited until she was ready
to be born and not made my labor start; she may have not been born cognitively
impaired. I will always carry this
painful guilt. I believe that a parent’s
emotional well being, physical health, proper prenatal care, and sound decision
making has a tremendous affect on a child's development
Hi Sandra,
ReplyDeleteI was moved while reading your account of your daughter's birth. I can understand why you may feel guilty about how things turned out. I am willing to bet that your state of mind may have affected her emotional being at the time, however, I don't think you were to blame for her cognitive impairment. We learn a lot of things about how we can affect our children's birth and health, however, there are times when they are the way they are because that's how they were supposed to be or because of something that went wrong that was beyond our control. I hope you will be able to let some of the guilt go. You deserve to be free from that heavy feeling.